Thursday, January 1, 2015

Goodbye 2014

I'm still not sure how I feel about my calendar reading 2015 quite yet. I still can't believe we have flown by yet another year! I didn't really ring in the new year the way I was hoping I would, simply because I am under the weather and not to mention had a bad panic attack last night. After sitting in my room crying about absolutely nothing I decided to open up my yearly memory jar and in the middle of it began receiving texts from people wishing me a happy and healthy new year. This is when it hit me, and maybe I shed a few more tears. I and probably a lot of other people easily forget what really happens within a span of a year.

In 2014 I accomplished a few dreams, I took most opportunities, I met a lot of amazing people, and I fell in love. With this being said I wish I could personally thank every individual that had an impact on my year because the support of others is what kept me moving. I am not proud to say that I went through a rough patch in-between months due to my anxiety, but I am proud to say that I survived. 2014 was probably one of the worst years in relation to my anxiety. I traveled through the very lows and made my way up to learn to accept myself. Towards the end of the year, perhaps through reflection, I learned the important in taking time for yourself. I cannot stress this enough on how important it is to leave everything behind and give yourself a breather once in a while.

Although my resolution of traveling did not partake in my year, I think that travel wasn't meant to be in the books of 2014. Looking back I really enjoyed staying near home and spending time with people I am now thankful I truly got to know. One of the few trips I did take did not go as planned, as my anxiety took over and made me feel even more homesick than I thought I was ever capable of feeling. I think regardless of the destination, it can easily be turned into an adventure. This year I had quite a few adventures whilst commuting to school and hanging out with people who are completely different from me.

I remember posting last year that I wanted 2014 to be the year where I stopped caring what others thought and did things that I was terrified to do. Well, can I say.. I sure did that. In 2014 I left my fears behind as I embarked in sharing my life with someone. If you know me, or have been reading my blog for a while, you will probably know that I am the most private person EVER. With that being said, I think I can finally admit that my worst fear is opening up to someone and feeling... lonely. Through out the last few years I have taken a part of relationships that were nothing but trying to convince people what you were worth, or that having someone by your side was what mattered. One of my biggest fears was to admit to myself that I was capable of opening up to someone and letting them know how I actually felt. Can I just say being in a relationship with your best friend is a beautiful thing?

In conclusion,
2014 you were one of the bumpiest rides I have taken a part in, but I am thankful for the lessons I learned along the way without a guide.

I hope you all have a happy and healthy new year!


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